NaBloPoMo – BlogHer – March 2014

NaBloPoMo – BlogHer – March 2014

Monday, March 24, 2014
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

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If I could change one thing about myself, I would take nine-inches off my height and be a normal 5′ 7″, or so. Even today, I am most self-conscious about my height.

All the taunts I lived with through Jr. High and High School, took away any self-confidence I had managed to build. Mostly, I just wanted to curl up under a rock and die. Children and teens can be so cruel sometimes.

As I grew into my twenties, I found that most of those cruel teenagers had grown into men that admired height in women. I gained some self-confidence back. The eternal questioning of, “How tall are you?”, was always there to remind me and bring me back down. I think my height has a lot to do with my social anxiety.

Would things be any different if I were shorter? Probably not. It would just be a different characteristic, that people would latch on to and make fun of. It might have made some difference in my self-confidence, if I had been a normal height when I was younger. That’s one of those things I will never know.

In reading back over what I have written, I find that I sound so bitter. Maybe, that is what I need to change; the bitterness that has crept upon me in my old age.