Daily Prompt: If You Leave

Daily Prompt: If You Leave
by Krista on March 12, 2014

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?


The last thing I contemplated leaving was life. After three tries, I nearly succeeded.

The pros:

1. I would no longer have to work the heavily burdened rat race that was my job.

2. I would no longer have to deal with chronic diseases that left me weak and in pain.

3. I would no longer be a burden to my family.

4. I would no longer have to deal with the heartache and pain of knowing all the bad choices I had made in my life and how they had affected my family.

The cons:

1. I couldn’t think of any at the time.

My mind was made up. I chose death over life. The last time I tried to commit suicide, was five years ago. I nearly succeeded that time. After spending several weeks in the psychiatric ward of a hospital, I came to realize that I was only succeeding in hurting my family more, so I promised them that I would not try again.

I resigned from my job, continued to see a psychiatrist, and a therapist, and after a couple of years, I began to feel more mentally stable. Having the support system my family gave me, I was able to take the time to really think about what my next step was going to be.

I have been taking baby steps, but now feel that I’m ready to take another big step; to actually publish some of my writings. I’m a bit nervous, since I don’t know how I’m going to take criticism and failure. Hopefully, I will lean on my support system and make it through.

1 A Support System www.thetotalwellnessdoc.com 2
Image courtesy of http://www.thetotalwellnessdoc.com via Yahoo Images


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19 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: If You Leave

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  1. I too have been at deaths door three times, but not by choice. Cancer is the villain in my case. The first time I was 39. I am now 70 and twice more I was attacked by this killer. I have succeeded so far. My doctor told me the mind is a powerful thing and I could win the battle.
    There are no pros to leaving only cons. We all have a number but it is not up to us to step ahead of any one else. The following is a poem by William Ernest Hindley, I read it every day. I would like to share it with everyone.


    Out of the night that covers me
    Black as the pit from pole to pole
    I thank whatever Gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul
    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winked or cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeoning of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed
    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the horror of the shade.
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds and shall find me unafraid
    It matters not how straight the gate,
    How charged with punishments
    the scroll
    I am the master of my fate
    I am the captain of my soul.


  2. To Hell with bullies!! Anyone who would criticize another person for their struggles is a bully!! I am certain that any one of your followers would blast anyone who would criticize you!

    Depression is somewhat of a silent killer, you may look fine on the outside but people can’t “see” how you are hurting.

    You are not alone and I am so happy that you are working things out with yourself and that you have a supportive and loving family. A lot of us bloggers care about you too!


  3. I am glad you decided not to leave. 🙂

    We cannot know what may lie around the bend, even though from here, it looks like maybe nothing. It is such a blessing to be alive, to have our three parts together, body, mind and soul, as we are meant to be.


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