NaBloPoMo ~ January 28, 2014

Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Which of your responsibilities stress you out the most?

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Several of my responsibilities stress me out. Anything that I don’t want to do stresses me out; being in public, people in general, riding in a car, (I haven’t driven in nearly four years), and having to talk to people, are just a few of my many stressors. I have general and social anxiety and do my best to keep them under cover.
Family fighting is another big stressor for me. I long for happiness and peace and do not do conflict very well at all. I used to fall apart completely when family conflict rose-up it’s leery head. I wanted everyone to be happy and would try to make everyone be happy, but more often than not, the tables would get turned on me and I would fall apart. Now, through several years of therapy, and I think I have the best therapist around, I have learned to step back, not get involved anymore than I have to, and aim for my happiness and peace of mind. I cannot control others and it does no one any good to have a pity party. I turn it over to the ‘powers that be’, and go along my merry, (as merry as I can make it), way.
The biggest stressor of all has to be when my husband is sick. I know I said ‘in sickness and in health’, but come on, I didn’t realize that meant even if he turned into a whiny baby. I have a wonderful husband, don’t get me wrong, but I’m sure there are some of you that can relate. When my husband gets sick, like he has been for four days now, he moans and groans constantly, and I do mean constantly. Even when I’m trying to work, he moans and groans. It is impossible to think with that going on, so I generally give-up, but then I tend to get resentful for having to spend every minute of my day sitting beside him and holding his hand, while he moans nonsense like, ‘I’m going to die,’ ‘The doctor was wrong, I’ve got something else. Take me to the emergency room’. He went to the doctor yesterday, and the doctor said he had a sinus infection and an ear infection. He gave him a shot, a prescription for an antibiotic, and a prescription strength mucinex.
I do the loving, pampering things: get his medicine’s for him and making sure he takes it at the right time, provide him with food and drink when he asks for it, and anything else I can do to make him comfortable. It’s the fact that he wants my total attention when he is sick that stresses me out the most.
On the other hand, he holds me when I fall apart, pets and pampers me in all ways, and looks after me when I’m sick, even though I don’t want anyone near me.
All in all, I guess it is the give and take that makes a good marriage.