Daily Prompt: Forgive and Forget?
by Krista on December 21, 2013
Share a story where it was very difficult for you to forgive the perpetrator for wronging you, but you did it — you forgave them.
I have several of these. Which one do I choose? I think I will choose my Dad. I have written before about how he cheated on my Mom, several times, and about how protective of my Mom I was.
Anyway, after I was married and had my oldest daughter, she was about 18 months old at the time, Dad slipped up and was caught, first hand, by my Mom.
My Dad was working 3rd shift at a plant near our home. He had made it up to being a supervisor, but had to go on 3rd shift to take the job.
Late one night, or early morning, about 1:00 a.m., my Mom received a phone call from the husband of the woman my Dad was having an affair with. He told her what was going on and what time she should go to catch them. Apparently, his wife had already left him and asked for a divorce that week.
My mom went and she found them, in the act, in the woman’s car. My Mom drove back home and called her father to come and stay with her in case my Dad tried to come home. By the time I found out about it, the next morning, my Mom was already in the hospital with a nervous breakdown, and my Dad was nowhere to be found.
Mad? Yes, I was mad. Hurt? Yes, I was hurt. My protective instincts were on full throttle. It was a couple of days later when my Dad came by to talk to me. I told him I didn’t want to hear a word he had to say.
As soon as the divorce was final, my Dad married his new wife.
The years went by and I tried to be social, because my daughter adored her Grandpa, and I didn’t want to break her heart so young. Looking back in retrospect, it would probably been better if I had.
I was not so nice to my Dad’s new wife. She had a son and a daughter that lived with them. My Dad soon became involved in their lives and we rarely seen him. Then, he started driving a truck, and we saw him less and less. Sometimes my daughter would find out that he had been home and visited his father and mother, but didn’t come by our home. That’s when my daughter started hurting. When my second daughter came along, she was rarely around him, so it didn’t matter to her.
The really big hurt came when my Dad did not show up, or acknowledge, my oldest daughter’s High School Graduation. She became very bitter and didn’t have much to do with him for a long time.
A couple of years later, I was reading a book about back pain, (I can’t remember the name of the book, nor its author), but it talked about how one’s relationship with their father could bring on back pain. It hit home at that time of my life. So, I began working on forgiving my Dad.
Around this time, my Dad had a bad accident, that left him with a crushed ankle. They operated on him, putting in many pens, plates, and screws to reconstruct his ankle. His wife made the effort to call me, so I made the effort to go visit him while he was in the hospital.
When he came home from the hospital, I went to visit him at least once a month. It took several years of talking before I was able to really forgive, and I have mostly forgotten, though it does rear its ugly head sometimes. Now, I am able to consciously ignore it instead of letting it destroy me.
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